Consciousness Streams: Book Hangovers

“I read a book one day
and my whole life was changed.”
–Orhan Pamuk

 

I closed my book.

Done. Finished.

Around me, everyone carried on, going about their day as if my life hadn’t just shifted. I suppose it was unnoticeable to anyone else but me, but I felt it, like a current in the air, supercharged. I considered my Impala sitting in the parking lot, its full tank of gas. I considered my bank account, my credit cards.

I could go, if I wanted to.

You know when you finish a book, and the whole world seems to have leaned to the side, but only you can tell? You finish a book, and suddenly your entire life is changed. That’s how I felt reading J.C. Geiger’s Wildman. There were too many truths hidden within Geiger’s beautiful words, and I feel all the more shattered for having found them.

“You don’t need a plan. You have a car.”

I’ve often thought of what would happen if I just got in my car and drove away, into the horizon, somewhere the mountains are more sand than green, and the sky is powder blue pierced by cresting waves of windmill farms along the hillsides. I want to drive west until I see water, until I find the boardwalk.

Until I sink into the sea.

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